Birth Stories

This is a rare story. Not because of statistics and the unlikely probability of the events that took place, but because every single human life is rare. Unique.Like no other. Madelyn is no exception. Her story is rare and beautiful.

So many stars aligned to bring Madelyn into the world. The first two being Kristy and Kyle. Their worlds first collided in 1999 at the University of Waterloo. Their friendship was forged waking up for early classes, studying late into the night,and dancing for hours at the Bomb shelter campus pub. In the years after university,their paths slowly strayed as Kristy took a teaching position in Switzerland and Kyle explored several career avenues, ultimately leading him to Teachers College in Australia. But their connection always remained thanks to the tight-knit Waterloo alumni social circle. Almost 20 years after graduating from Waterloo,Kyle was a science teacher in Barrie and Kristy was a math teacher in Richmond Hill. And more importantly, they were both single.

A seemingly random nudge from a dating app was all it took to fan their spark into a flame.By December of 2017, Kyle was planning the ultimate engagement playlist to swoon his future wife. Music played a big role in both their lives. Kristy had fond childhood memories of listening to cassettes from her father’s collection with her twin sister in the back of his Malibu, and Kyle remembers many family Christmases erupting into Country singalongs. Thankfully, Kristy said ‘yes,’ and the two were married on March 30, 2019, with a backdrop of rain, snow, and many family members and friends.

Their journey into parenthood began not long after their wedding. Kristy knew she was destined for motherhood. Her love of children was evident from a young age. Asa child, Kristy spent hours in her Thornhill basement playing the role of teacher. She gave out homework to her parents and sister, and loved caring for her younger cousins when she visited them in the summer. Kyle also hoped he would become a father someday. Marrying Kristy simply solidified that belief. 

2019

Their path toparenthood started the same as most couples: not knowing exactly what to expect,but hoping for the best. After struggling for many months to start a family,they took a trip to a fertility specialist to do a basic assessment. The doctorgave them a glowing report and they left the clinic feeling optimistic.Patience was simply the name of the game.

The next fewmonths echoed the experience many parents endure in silence; Kristy and Kyle struggledto stay pregnant and experienced the feelings of loss and hopelessness. In July,they went back to the fertility clinic to seek some additional advice andtesting.

Six weekslater, they returned to the clinic hand in hand to receive their results. Ashealthy adults with no concerning family histories, they expected the doctorwould have nothing of any consequence to report. But as Kristy sat down acrossthe table, she could instantly tell this was not the case.

“So as youknow, a normal healthy person has 23 pairs of chromosomes,” the doctor began.

Kristy cuther off before she could continue. The word ‘normal’ stung.

“I have achromosome disorder,” Kristy stated, anticipating the doctor’s confirmation.  

“Yes,” thedoctor responded directly. “A balanced translocation.”  

Kyle never imaginedhis knowledge as a biology teacher would be useful in this context. His mind digestedthe news as the waves crashed on the shore. Two segments of Kristy’s 23chromosomes had swapped places, which had no significance for the growth andfunction of her own body, but combining with Kyle’s to produce another healthylife was hard to achieve.

Kristy andKyle walked out of the clinic in silence, feeling blindsided. The warmth of thesummer sun did little to ease the news. The avalanche of thoughts began to floodKristy’s mind: How did I not know thisall my life? If I had known, we wouldn’t be in this situation. Where do we gofrom here?

A meetingwith a geneticist at North York General Hospital later that summer helpedanswer some of these questions and laid out the situation in purely scientificterms: of the six possible combinations of their chromosomes, only two wouldresult in a healthy human. This sounded difficult, but not impossible. Thefacts of science felt reliable. Kristy and Kyle left the appointment feelingdetermined. The decision to initiate IVF to assist them was nearlyinstantaneous. 

In the fall,Kristy and Kyle started their IVF treatment—a series of almost daily appointments,injections, and tests that understandably don’t get spoken of much. Theyrelinquished control and put their faith in science. The process was constantand all-consuming, but they stood strong together.

Just priorto Christmas, they received the devastating news that all their embryos testedabnormal. The results extinguished the joy of the holidays that year. Kristyand Kyle turned inward to protect their aching hearts and recuperate bothphysically and emotionally. 

2020

The solitudeof the Pandemic served as a blessing. Kristy and Kyle weren’t ready to sharetheir journey with others and the thought of answering questions only worsenedthe pain they were experiencing. The pause in activity also helped them realizethe clinic where they were registered wasn’t the right fit for them. Theyneeded a relationship with a doctor they could trust. Someone who would takethe time to understand them and advise them in an honest and caring manner. Theodds of finding someone who met these criteria seemed slim. But if narrow oddshad gotten them into this situation, perhaps narrow odds could also get themout.

One night inearly spring, Kristy woke up suddenly with the answer: Dr. Virro.

Dr. Virrowas the father of one of Kristy’s former math students, Kristina, and sheremembered he was a highly respected fertility doctor; one of the first in theGTA. Turning on the laptop to compose an email to Kristina seemed to instantly refuelKristy’s optimism. The email was short and to the point:

Dear Kristina, I hate to ask for this favouras your favourite math teacher—but could you please get me in to see your dad?– Kristy McGowan

The responseappeared in Kristy’s inbox within hours. She couldn’t open it fast enough.

Ofcourse! Ms. McGowan, you would be such an amazing mother. I’ll refer you andmake sure you get in—I’ll call his secretary right now and get you on his list.– Kristina

The responseseemed too good to be true. But the next week, Kristy received a phone callwith a coveted appointment date and time. They were in! Kristy’s face lit upwith an involuntary smile; the first in months. She immediately called Kylewith the news. 

Dr. Virroand the clinic staff were amazing. Always patient and gentle. As a smallerpractice, they prided themselves on maintaining a personal touch with all theirclients. But the kindness of the staff could not dispel the ache thataccompanied their inability to have a child.

The summerand fall of 2020 became a blur of appointments at the clinic. Months of beingpoked, prodded, and drowned in numbers. The process wore away at Kristy, but Kylewas there to lift her up; sometimes literally. He drove her to everyappointment and waited patiently outside. His love and optimism never wavered. Butreality felt needlessly cruel at times. They completed two additional rounds ofIVF and found themselves no further ahead than when they began.

It was timeto regroup and rethink their strategy. Kristy and Kyle wanted to leave no stoneunturned. They sat still in the silence of Dr. Virro’s office, clutching eachother’s hands. They listened to his advice with open minds and hearts.

“You coulddo another round of IVF, but I’m not sure that is your best option at thispoint. If you want a baby, I think you should consider an egg donor,” Dr. Virroshared honestly.  

2021

When Januaryarrived, Kristy and Kyle were more than ready to close the door on 2020. They realizedtheir isolation was no longer serving them and bravely decided to send an emailto their family and closest friends, letting them into their fragile world. Theresponses of heartfelt support, understanding, and love began to pour intotheir inbox, including one from Kristy’s cousin Lindsay and her husband Mario.In the note they requested a video call.

Kristy hadfond memories growing up with Lindsay. Many of them involved Kristy playing therole of mother hen and carrying her little cousins around. Kristy had thepleasure of watching Lindsay grow into motherhood over the last decade. Sheadmired her cousin from afar as Lindsay tended to her two boys with greatstrength and love. Kristy and Kyle were of course delighted by the idea of avideo call to catch up. They were also equally curious to hear what Lindsay andMario would have to say. 

One eveningin February, Kristy and Kyle logged into the much anticipated call from thecomfort of their living room couch. When the cameras turned on and Kristy sawthe expressions on Lindsay and Mario’s faces, she just knew the news was goingto be big. Kristy leaned into Kyle and braced for an emotional tidal wave. Aftera few pleasantries, Lindsay weighed in.

“I don’tknow exactly what you guys need, but if you need someone to carry your baby,count me in,” Lindsay said with great sincerity.

Kylesqueezed Kristy’s hands as the significance of Lindsay’s offer took hold oftheir hearts. The depth of her empathy was overwhelming and seemed to sootheKristy and Kyle’s wounds. As the conversation progressed, it was clear Lindsayhad done her homework and was prepared to stand by her proposal. Tears began toroll down Kyle’s face.

The call wasrelatively brief. Kristy and Kyle needed time and space to process andcontemplate what this could mean. They spent every minute of the next few weeksthinking it through, doing their best to temper their excitement and respectthe gravity of the decision. Kristy prepared a list of questions andhandwritten notes to delicately guide their next call with Lindsay and Mario.After tiptoeing around every sensitive corner, Lindsay reassured Kristy andKyle of her commitment.

“I’ve alwaysthought I could do this for someone. All the better to do it for someone Ilove,” said Lindsay tenderly.

In October, two days after Kyle’s birthday, Lindsay did atransfer of one of Kristy and Kyle’s precious embryos. “I’ve got this,” Lindsaysaid firmly. Her strength wrapped around Kristy like a warm blanket.

On the morning of the ninth day after the transfer, at 6:45a.m., while Kristy and Kyle were getting ready for work, Lindsay’s video callcame in. Kristy grabbed Kyle’s hand, her squeeze nearly breaking his fingers.Kyle clicked the button to accept the call and immediately heard Lindsay’svoice say, “We’re having a baby!” As the camera zoomed in on the positivepregnancy test, tears began to stream down their faces. 

2022: The Year of Madelyn

The excitement and joy of reality was extraordinary. Raysof sunshine began to penetrate the protective shields Kristy and Kyle had grownover their fragile hearts every time they received an update from Lindsay. Thebaby grew from the size of a poppy seed, to a lime, to a banana. At the 20-weekassessment, Kristy and Kyle decided to also find out the sex of the baby. Theywanted to know everything they could about this new person who would foreverchange their lives.

Lindsay and Kristy went to the ultrasound appointmenttogether. The room was dimly lit with the glow of the technician’s computerscreen. Lindsay climbed up onto the exam bed and lifted her shirt to expose herround belly. Kristy stood at the foot of the bed with a perfect view of themonitor, anticipating the first glimpse of her baby. The technician glided theprobe over Lindsay’s belly, revealing the little person inside. The sight tookKristy’s breath away. The whooshing heartbeat was the most glorious sound shehad ever heard.

The technician diligently measured every aspect of thebaby. At the end of the assessment, when they tried to determine if it was aboy or a girl, the baby decided it was time to play games. To get a better view,the technician instructed Lindsay to move in various positions: on her side, onall fours, and even downward dog. No matter how Lindsay turned, the technicianjust couldn’t get a good look. Lindsay and Kristy went for a walk and ate asnack to coax the baby to shift. When they returned to the exam room, thetechnician gave it another try. The anticipation in the room was growing witheach movement of the ultrasound probe.

Finally, the tech announced joyfully, “Ladies, we have alabia!” Kristy and Lindsay erupted in laughter.

“It’s a girl?” Kristy asked as she marvelled at the screen.

“It’s a girl,” the technician confirmed.

Kristy’s mind momentarily flashed forward to all the littlegirl dresses and hair bows. The six hours at the clinic were definitely worththe thrill of this moment. Kristy dialed Kyle’s phone immediately to share the excitingnews. Kyle stepped out of his classroom to take the FaceTime call.

“It’s a girl! We’re having a baby girl!” Kristy blurtedout.

Kyle’scheeks blushed at the thought of holding his daughter. They shared abrief celebratory moment before Kyle had to return to his students and attemptto maintain his focus on the lesson.

Kristy and Lindsay returned to the waiting room to speak tothe doctor about the results of the assessment. By this time, Dr. Virro had retired,and they were scheduled to meet with his successor, Dr. Wais. Moments later,they were called into the doctor’s office.   

As Kristy sat down in the chair, she instantly recognizedthe look of concern on Dr. Wais’ face. She felt the panic begin to grow in herstomach and weaken her knees.

“One of the measurements is a little elevated,” Dr. Wais began.Kristy thought she might be sick. “I’m going to refer you to the geneticcounsellor at North York General,” she continued. While Kristy digested yetanother challenge, Lindsay reassured her that everything was okay.

In order to rule out any abnormalities, Lindsay wasscheduled for a number of tests, including an echocardiogram to look at thebaby’s heart. Fortunately, the results were completely normal and the doctors reassuredKristy and Kyle that their baby was healthy and there was nothing to worryabout. Given the journey they had been on so far, not worrying seemedimpossible, but they had Lindsay this time and she continued to be their pillarof strength.

Madelyn’s Arrival

The baby’s due date was July 10. An induction was scheduledfor a few days earlier at the hospital in New Liskeard. The plan was for Marioto be at Lindsay’s side, and the baby would be passed to Kristy as soon as shewas born for skin-to-skin cuddles.

Kristy and Kyle were scheduled to arrive in New Liskeard afew days before the birth. Packing for the trip was a unique experience. They prepareda large suitcase for themselves, unsure of how long they would need to stay.The baby’s suitcase was equally large, filled with clothes of various sizes anda stockpile of bottles and formula. They wanted their daughter to have exactly what she needed.

The morning of their departure, Kristy and Kyle stood inthe baby’s nursery for a few moments of silence before their duet became atrio. They stared at the furniture they had lovingly assembled together andtried to imagine the face and sounds of their daughter. The moment was surreal.They had been through so much; waiting on a train that just wouldn’t come. Somany highs quickly extinguished by devastating lows. Was the joy of parenthoodreally around the corner? Theywere willing to bet it all that better days were coming.

As they did a final check of the car, some neighboursstopped by to wish them well and said a quiet prayer for the safe arrival oftheir baby. And with that, they were off. The car ride took five hours, thoughthey would have gladly driven 500. The day before the induction, Mario and Kylewent golfing and the girls went for pedicures; a sure way to induce the labournaturally. The outings were a small reprieve of relaxation and normalcy.

The next day, July 7, after lunch, Kristy, Kyle, Mario, andLindsay all arrived at the hospital. Their excitement and nerves were palpable.As the doctor started the induction process, they were told it could take awhile for anything to happen. The baby wasn’t likely to arrive until thefollowing day. After a few hours, Kristy and Kyle decided it was safe to driveinto town and pick up dinner for everyone.     

They returned after an hour with bagels and sandwiches intow. Walking into the hospital room, Kristy and Kyle could see Lindsay wasexperiencing significant discomfort. The obstetrician, Dr. Besner, came inshortly thereafter to assess Lindsay and realized her contractions were becomingquite severe and closer together. Her progress was much faster thananticipated. In order to be fully prepared, the OB contacted the surgeonon-call just in case an emergency C-section was necessary. The surgeondutifully left her softball game and headed to the hospital. Lindsay was givensome morphine and medications in an attempt to ease the pain and slow down thecontractions.

Kristy and Kyle drifted back from the bedside, behind theblue curtain, to give Lindsay some privacy during this vulnerable time. Theylistened diligently from afar to gauge progress. Around 9 p.m., Kyle decided totake a quick break to the car to grab some water and snacks. In that shortwindow of time, Lindsay’s water broke and things intensified quickly. Kristycalled Kyle immediately, urging him to rush back. Kyle ran as fast as he could,navigating the long hallways and dodging the gurneys and wheelchairs parked inthe corridors. He found Kristy at the edge of the birthing suite on full alert,wide-eyed, taking in every sound. Kyle took his place right next to her, tryingdesperately to control his nerves.

By this point, Lindsay had begun to push. Kristy and Kylesqueezed each other’s hands. They were so close to the moment they hadjourneyed so far to realize. Yet they were still unable to believe they wereout of the woods yet.

At 9:27 p.m., their daughter slipped into the world. Kristylooked frantically back and forth between the curtain and Kyle. Why was there no sound? Why couldn’t shehear her daughter’s cry?

“She’s not crying! She’s not crying!” Kristy shrieked inpanic. She grabbed onto Kyle to steady herself.

“That’s okay, Mom, it happens. It’s okay,” Dr. Besner shoutedout, attempting to ease her fears.

But the silence persisted. The next sound Kristy and Kyleheard was the urgent call for a Code Pink; initiating the response for apaediatric emergency. The ground fell out from under Kristy and Kyle. Theystared at each other, convinced their daughter was gone. The code team rushedpast them as they stood there frozen in disbelief. Kristy’s heart was numb fromall the battle scars she had endured—and now this. Why had hope tempted them out onto a sky-high ledge only to drop themand leave them heartbroken?     

The delivery room was flooded with doctors and nursescalling out to one another. Warning alarms were sounding on all themachines.  A woman poked her head outfrom behind the curtain and said, “She has a heartbeat, she’s breathing, she’sokay.” The words were incomprehensible to Kristy and Kyle at first. Could this be true? The update wasmiraculous, but Kristy and Kyle were incapable of believing any good news.

The pandemonium slowly began to wane and Kristy and Kylewere invited into the room to meet their daughter. They moved slowly, weigheddown by the onslaught of mixed emotions. Their eyes gradually lifted from thefloor taking in the sight of the giraffe bed, adorned with dozens of wires. Theoverhead light cast a spotlight on the tiny figure: Madelyn Helen Stashuk. Onthe long list of possible names, Madelyn stood out as The One. And the spellingseemed to acknowledge Lindsay’s unique role in her birth, “Made-by-Lyn.” Helenwas also Lindsay’s middle name, and a loving tribute to Kristy’s grandmother.

Kyle and Kristy reached out to touch their delicate nine-pound,10-ounce daughter, careful not to interfere with the wires and oxygen mask.This moment was far from the fairy-tale picture they had anticipated, but theywere grateful Madelyn was stable. After taking in the glorious sight of herdaughter, Kristy turned to check on Lindsay.

“How do you look so beautiful right now?” Kristy remarked,noting the glow on Lindsay’s face. “You are the most amazing person! How do Ieven begin to thank you? This is the most incredible gift anyone could evergive us,” Kristy said with complete sincerity. “I love you so much.”

“No problem, I love you too,” Lindsay responded selflessly.Kristy embraced her cousin, absorbing her calm energy. In that moment Kristy wasreminded of the quote, “Nobeauty shines brighter than that of a generous heart,” and realized howtrue it was.

The doctor stood in the hallway, ready to brief Kristy andKyle on what had happened and the plan going forward. A dip in Madelyn’s oxygenlevels had prompted the team to contact the Children’s Hospital of EasternOntario (CHEO) in Ottawa for some expert advice. The decision was made to sendan airplane for Madelyn in the morning so they could monitor her progress moreclosely.

The girls sent Mario and Kyle home to get some proper restand the hospital assigned Kristy a room next to Lindsay’s for the night so shecould be close to Madelyn. Kristy lay in the hospital bed attempting to digesteverything that had happened. Her mind teetered between the joyous face of her newborndaughter and the fear that this glimmer of happiness would be short-lived. 

The next morning, the boys returned with coffee andbreakfast in hand. The four of them ate breakfast and Kristy and Kyle marvelledat Lindsay’s strength and poise given the chaos of the previous day. Thenursing staff were pleased to report Madelyn was doing extremely well. So muchso, that she no longer required the specialized services at CHEO and could besent to Health Sciences North, the hospital in Sudbury instead. Madelyn, Kristy,and two clinicians loaded into an ambulance and headed to the small localairport. Kyle would drive and meet them at the hospital.

The ambulance arrived at a wide-open field in Earlton thatserved as the runway, but no airplane was in sight. The pilot had fallen illand had left as a COVID precaution. Another tiny plane, seemingly made oftinfoil, touched down 30 minutes later. Kristy took in the sight of herdaughter’s incubator being transferred onto the small plane and shook her headat the absurdity of it all.

By the time they arrived at the Sudbury hospital, Kyle wasalready there waiting for them. Kristy and Kyle followed the medical team up tothe Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and settled in as the care team got up tospeed on Madelyn’s story. Within 20 minutes, after thoroughly assessing Madelyn,the staff were certain she no longer required the oxygen or incubator andtransferred her into her own little crib. The nurses adored time with Madelyn.Compared to the other tiny premature babies in the unit, Madelyn was theperfect cuddle mate.

Lindsay checked in constantly with Kristy and Kyle, desperatelywanting to know Madelyn was well and thriving. Lindsay continued to exude loveand care for Kristy and Kyle and their new family, despite her own healingafter the birth. Her steadfast support was deeply cherished and was theultimate testament of her love.

After two days, Madelyn was discharged and the Stashuksheaded home. The night before their departure, Kristy and Kyle stayed withMadelyn in a hospital room, free from wires and the hovering oversight of thenurses. It was finally their turn to care for Madelyn and they were beyondeager to do so.

The next morning, after a warm round of farewells, Kyle buckledMadelyn into her car seat, triple checking for the safety of the precious cargo.He quickly got the car from the parking garage and opened the doors for Madelynand Kristy. Sitting back in the driver seat, he clicked his seatbelt anddelivered his first ever official Dad Joke.

“Roll call. Is everybody present? Kristy? Madelyn?” Kylequestioned with a grin. Kristy giggled and turned around to raise Madelyn’shand. “Present!” Kristy declared on Madelyn’s behalf.

“Travel time to our destination is likely nine hours and 41minutes,” Kyle continued. Kristy laughed even louder.

The drive home was actually quite quick. Madelyn did well, onlyrequiring two stops for diaper changes and feeds in Parry Sound and Orillia.When they pulled into their driveway in Barrie, Kristy’s sister, mom, andstepfather were there waiting to celebrate their arrival. Their very excited neighbour,Brenda, was also there in the background to capture the long-awaited homecoming.

The sight of Madelyn sent a wave of emotion careening overthe family. With tears streaming down her cheeks, Kristy’s mom wrapped her armsaround her daughter and whispered, “You got your baby.” 

That summer, the Stashuks hosted a visitor nearly everyday. There was a long line of family members and friends who had been sittingquietly on the sidelines for the past few years, willing Madelyn to enter theworld.

With each passing day, Kristy and Kyle fell more in lovewith Madelyn. From the minute she woke in the mornings she wore a smile thatlit up the room. Everyday ordinary moments turned into precious memories:outings to the grocery store, walks by the lake, time on her play mat, endlesscuddles. Madelyn was up for anything and seemed to savour the time as much asher parents did.

One quiet afternoon, months later, Kristy walked by theliving room to see Kyle dancing to music with Madelyn in his arms. She knewinstantly this was a compilation of songs he had made just for her. Madelynstared up at her father adoringly. Kristy smiled, knowing this would be acommon sight for years to come. She headed into the kitchen to finish sometidying. As she lifted a stack of papers from the counter, one loose sheet fellto the floor. She picked it up, instantly recognizing the typed words she had usedas her daily mantra for so long. It read:

Don’t quit before themiracle happens.

Madelyn was indeed a miracle. And when she looks back onher birth story, she will know how much she is loved and that she is blessedwith two incredible parents who were willing to go to the ends of the Earth tobring her into the world.